Mission Impossible
by Fannin
Summary: Opposites attract and they repel. And sometimes they defy nature, all laws of physics, and just about everything else and do both. Kakashi and Iruka drabbles. Rated M to be safe.
1. Flickering Revolution

**Mission** **1**

_**Flickering Revolution**_

_109 words_

Another sly remark, a page turned.

Iruka, as is tradition, raises one middle finger.

Kakashi, as is tradition, points an index finger at himself _then_ raises a middle finger _then_ points it at Iruka.

Traditionally, Iruka-sensei spouts some angry, nonsensical words, proceeding further with an attempt to pin Kakashi with a kunai.

Traditions become traditions because they are consistently recycled over time. Revolutions are birthed from suppressed tension.

Today is the beginning of a Revolution.

Iruka, as is revolutionary, nods.

Kakashi, as is revolutionary, spouts sensual and provocative words, proceeding further with an attempt to pin Iruka to the floor.

With his hands.

Another sly movement, uniforms are shed.


	2. Sequence

**Mission** **2**

_**Sequence**_

_138 words_

When one gives a Kakashi a mission, he will come back for another.

When he comes back for another, he will want a blush to go with his innuendos, thank you.

When he gets that blush, he will want another.

When he gets another, he will get bored, so he will want a kiss instead.

When he gets THAT kiss, he will want another. And another and another and another…

When he gets another kiss, he will want dessert.

When he gets dessert, he prefers it raw, flustered and writhing.

When he gets that, then he gets what he wants

And what he wants, is Umino Iruka.

When one gives a Kakashi an Umino Iruka,

He will want an excuse to give the children because he was so 'late'-

"You see, there was this black cat and I-"


	3. Late Night Postit

**Mission** **3**

_**Late night post-it**_

_154 words_

'Dear Kakashi,

Working late tonight. There's money enclosed. Take Naruto out for Ramen? Compete with Gai to see who can eat the most?

If you want to spend it on sake, that's your choice. You might be able to excavate some leftovers in the fridge. If Naruto hasn't gotten to them first.

If you spend it on porn, I WILL kill you in your sleep.

If you spend it on _other things _I will then be forced to mutilate your corpse beyond recognition _after _I've murdered you. I'm still sore from last time (I know you're smiling by now, so stop!).

I hope you find this before Naruto does. ….I _really_ hope you find it before he does.

Look, just eat something and go to bed. I mean it. Go. To. Bed.

Love, Iruka

P.S. This message will self destruct thirty seconds upon opening.

P.S.S. I mean _your_ bed, this time, Kakashi. Not mine.'


	4. Behind the Mask

**Mission** **4**

_**Behind the Mask**_

183 words

_Today, of all days, Kakashi was refusing to remove his mask._

_Iruka told him he'd gladly remove it himself and proceeded to do so-_

_He stared at the mask beneath the mask, half expecting it to be there. He pulled that down. He stared at yet another mask. He pulled that down. Iruka grew frantic, pulling down mask after mask after mask as Kakashi looked on in boredom he made no effort to hide._

_Mask, mask, mask, mask, MASK! Where did it END! Mask maskmaskMASKMASK!_

"_It's the last one, promise." Kakashi added offhandedly as a vein began visibly throbbing at the Chuunin's temple. Iruka gave a short shout of triumph, yanked the black cloth down and beheld-_

_Yet another goddamned mask._

Iruka screamed, lurched up, blinked, seized the half-concealed lump lying next to him on his futon, hastily pulled at the familiar black cloth and ravaged the Jounin's mouth.

"Mmph." Said Kakashi.

"Dream." Said Iruka.

"You should have more of those." Replied Kakashi.

Hatake Kakashi was soon rendered unconscious once again by a terrible, merciless foe he had yet to conquer: The 'Umino-Iruka-Sensei-pervert-pummeling-fist'.


	5. Body Parts

**Mission** **5**

_**Body Parts**_

_195 Words_

Feet: Not Kakashi's preferred body part but the appendages are good for something; Iruka has particularly sensitive feet.

Legs: Not Kakashi's favorite part either, but they are fun. He likes knocking Iruka flat with a good swift kick to the back of his knees. After that, he's free to collect the spoils of a job well done.

Arms: Still not his favorite. But he does enjoy feeling them tighten around him when he's returned from a mission.

Wrist: Does this count? He spares a few seconds to consider it and moves on. Hey, it's fun to pin Iruka's wrists above his head…heh…

Back: He loves women, really, but there's something about seeing Iruka's strong, broad back beneath him.

Ears: Taste particularly good.

Hair: This is also questionable. Half the fun of Iruka's hairstyle is taking it apart.

Ass: To make one of himself by shamelessly admitting that he can't help but stare.

Eyes: Because this man's gaze doesn't suffer from Kakashi's limitations.

Other: Kakashi's favorite part? It alternates but he often leaves it up to Iruka to guess. Of course, if Iruka ever guessed right, he'd probably end up pinned to a wall by kunai.


	6. Lecture

**Mission** **6**

_**Lecture **_

_46 words_

"You are the-!"

"Sexiest."

"-man I've ever had the-!"

"Great fortune."

"-to have-!"

"Sex with."

"Dammit! Listen when I'm-!"

"Nagging?"

"-to you! You-!"

"All powerful?"

"Idiot! I can't stand-!"

"Being away from you."

"That's it. Fine. Have-!"

"My way with you?"

"I-!"

"Love you?"

"…Close enough."


	7. Nameless Devotion

**Author Note: **This is dedicated to all of you wonderful readers. By the way, if you have any requests for drabbles, I'd love to do it! Just drop a note in your next review!

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**Mission 7**

_**Nameless devotion**_

_159_ _words_

In the beginning, love didn't exist. It was physical attraction; Kakashi pulled him down and he obeyed. Soon, HE was pulling Kakashi down. They dragged each other through torment and pleasure. They unanimously ignored sensibility. Kakashi was vaguely disturbed by his behavior and Iruka, after Kakashi fell 'asleep' beside him, choked on words still left unsaid.

It wasn't hate.

Because they found that 'friendship' was still a noose around their throats. There was common ground in their concern for their students.

Thus Kakashi gives in to Iruka; There's nothing he can do but grin and comment on how surprisingly violent the man is.

Iruka submits to Kakashi; What's left but re-affirming Kakashi is indeed, the pervert he lets himself be seen as.

Kakashi called it attraction, desire, lust, frustration, 'personal benefit'. In the end, this nameless tether that binds them is revealed when Iruka whispers in his ear as he 'sleeps'. "Devotion."


	8. Better Than Icha Icha?

**Mission** **8**

_**Better than Icha Icha?**_

_42 words_

There are no lines.

No hunting for the right one.

You don't have to wait months for a new release and best of all:

You didn't have to pay.

Sometimes, Kakashi had to admit, Iruka was far better than Icha Icha Paradise.


	9. Packing a Pakkun

**Mission** **9**

_**Packing a Pakkun**_

_180_ _Words_

"Hey, where have you been?" Pakkun raises his head, glaring at the shadow sliding through the open window. He isn't thrilled at being summoned then left here to play guard dog. It is morally degrading for such a magnanimously devoted, intelligent -and undeniably- adorable canine such as himself to be so under appreciated. Here is his master coming back _hours_ later, another human's scent hanging over him like smog.

Really thick, pungent smog.

Kakashi grins through his mask. "Everywhere."

"Don't make me bite you."

"Don't make me bite _you_."

Pakkun snorts, glaring up at him. "So, how was sensei feeling tonight? Still sick?"

"As a dog." A lazy gaze is fixed on a pair of skeptical animal eyes. "Why? You smell it?"

"I'm going to point out the fact that your ears have multiple bite marks on them that aren't mine."

"I had to fight off a pack of rabid Genin?"

Pakkun stares.

"_One_ rabid Chuunin?"

Pakkun continues to stare. Blankly.

"One rabid Chuunin who I've claimed is sick but has actually been incapacitated because of my frequent nocturnal visits?"


	10. Ukki kun

**Author Note: **For those of you who may not know, "Ukki-kun" is a small potted plant that Naruto gave Kakashi as a present. Kakashi keeps it on his windowsill. Also, the posting of this short might be a forewarning to the updates of our other fiction _Leaves in the Wind_, so keep your eyes peeled.

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**Mission** **10**

**_Ukki-kun_**

_318 words_

Hatake Kakashi rarely got 'angry'. He got 'pissed', he got 'miffed', 'irritated' and maybe a little…'confrontational'.

Kakashi was, in Konoha vision, a mystery man. An aloof, extraordinary shinobi with a penchant toward Icha Icha and, recently, a habit of looming around the Academy during school hours.

Needless to say, THE Hatake Kakashi did not do 'anger'.

And he certainly NEVER sulked.

With a simple droop of a leaf, Ukki-kun, however, disagreed.

Kakashi stared at it; he squinted as the leaf lowered. "Uhn."

"…." said Ukki-kun.

"I don't understand what you are implying."

The plant seemed to expect this type of answer. It said as much.

"Hnn…" The Shinobi squinted at the plant again. Another leaf dipped as if chiding him for sulking.

Which he WASN'T doing.

"…." went Ukki-kun.

"We all have our secrets," Kakashi countered.

"…." Ukki-kun clearly wasn't buying.

Kakashi leaned back in the tiny chair and fixed one eye on the radiant moon beyond the nagging vegetation. "I had sex with Iruka-sensei."

"….." The foliage was suspiciously quiet.

"Jealous type, eh?"

Another leaf dipped.

"He's been avoiding me."

Leaves shuddered with quiet laughter.

"I don't find it very amusing."

Shudder.

"I could throw you out the window, Ukki-kun."

Suddenly, Uki grew still. A long, palpable silence passed between them until-

DROOP.

By the time Kakashi registered the fact he'd sent Ukki-kun to an early, pot-shattering grave, someone had been steadily pounding on his door for the past forty-three seconds.

"Uki…kun…"

"…." said the plant.

Door opened, plant nestled smugly in the arms of a brown haired, bleary eyed, scared nosed Chuunin with a leaf stuck in his hair. "Ah…G-good evening Kakashi-san, I believe this is yours…"

A slow grin spread beneath the fabric of the mask and Kakashi lazily reached out to clamp a hand over Iruka's shoulder.

"…….." went Ukki-kun.

Yes. Really, the small things were the most enjoyable. Revenge, Ukki-kun, would be sweet.


	11. Cameo

**Mission 11**

**_Cameo_**

_53 Words_

Asuma assumed the worse when visiting Kakashi's apartment.

Kakashi rebutted this -in later conversations- by stating that '_ass_uming' made an '_ass_' out of _Asuma_.

As long as Asuma never had to walk in on two naked men contentedly screwing each other into a futon, ever, _ever_ again, he could assume all he wanted.


	12. Insomnia

**Mission** **12**

**_Insomnia: An Alphabetical Poem_**

_112 words_

At three in the morning, Iruka awakens

Because there is a tapping on his bedroom window

"Could you _please_ just use the door?"

Door opens,

Emits a Jounin.

"Free?" He inquires.

Gargantuan stacks of quizzes loom from every direction.

His answer was obvious.

Iruka was enslaved.

-Jounin must remedy this.

Kakashi remains ever vigilant

Lest Chuunin kick his ass out the door- again.

Meaningful gestures made.

"No."

Openly sultry looks.

Pouting.

Quietly, the captive

Rises.

"Sleep." Iruka emphasizes.

Teeth graze his ear…

…Underneath his chin…

Very carefully do Kakashi's hands slide over skin.

Xanthic light streaming in from an origin unknown.

Yelling, pulling, pushing and heaving fade and

Zenith is, reluctantly, met.


End file.
